Putting Others First
I had a simple yet profound realization this morning. It occurred to me that following Jesus can be boiled down to one basic concept: putting others first. If every aspect of my existence aligned with this concept, I could then truly consider myself a “good person”.
The problem is that, as a member of the human race, every fiber of my being struggles against doing this one basic thing. I want to live my way, do things for myself, and enrich my own life. Yet God demands otherwise.
There are two categories of others: God and everyone else. Loving these others means putting their needs and desires before my own, wanting the best for them at my own expense. This is what Jesus meant when he stated the two greatest rules of life in Matthew 22:37–40:
‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.
So if all the law and the prophets (i.e. all of Scripture) can be boiled down to these simple principles, why do we humans fail so miserably to please God? I am convinced it is because we ultimately choose to put ourselves before others.
We are a culture of self-seekers. We want things our way (cue Paul Anka and Burger King). We love the promise Jesus gave of abundant life in John 10:10, because we interpret that to mean we will get everything we want. However, we neglect what he also said in Matthew 10:39:
Those who find their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it.
Losing my life, taking up my cross, laying my life down for a friend—these are all examples of love given in the New Testament. They are also examples of supreme service, or putting others first (even to the point of my own earthly death).
This flies in the face of my natural tendency to please myself. It is intensely counter-cultural, yet blatantly demanded by God. If I am to be a follower of Jesus, putting others first is something I must do at all times.
This may seem obvious; in a sense, it is. But the profundity strikes when I pause to reflect on just how much (or, more accurately, how little) I put others before myself. This reflection then leads to the Fear of the Lord, the knowledge that my life is nowhere near where it should be as a Christ-follower. And this in turn leads to a deep sorrow for the church in general, composed as it is largely of people living for themselves.
I will explore this topic much further in the days ahead.
posted by P.T. Peterson | 8:36 AM
2 Comments:
i don't know how much i agree with the fact that to be truly a "good person" you must put everyone before yourself. i'm not saying selfishness is good, but i am saying it's impossible to truly help and serve people if you are not taking care of yourself. if you hate yourself and who you are but give tons of money and time to charity, are you a good person? shouldn't you be spending that time and money on therapy and focusing on how to improve your self-image. it's the whole you can't love thy neighbor without loving yourself thing. well, that's what i think.
but a question- why would god demand of us something that "every fiber" of your being struggles against? that is, if it's an inborn human trait to self serve, why would god demand that we serve others first and then ourselves. i'm not expecting an answer. i don't have an answer. i'm just releasing the question into the cyber world.
Missy,
Thanks for your feedback. You raise two good questions, which I'll attempt to answer the best I can.
First, the question of loving oneself. I am in no way saying that we must hate ourselves or not keep ourselves healthy. God gave me this body and it is his temple to dwell in, so I want to make sure I take care of it. If I have physical, mental, or emotional illness, you're right in that I won't do others much good if I neglect proper personal care.
This is illustrated in professional ministers who work themselves to the bone for their jobs to the point of burning out. They don't get adequate rest and recreation, so they wind up reaching a point where they are no good to anybody. Even Jesus had to get away from the crowds so he could have some much-needed alone time, so why should we not?
Also, I may open a fresh can of worms here, but I would argue that money and professional therapy are not requirements for an unhealthy person to develop a positive self-image. They may be good for dealing with unresolved past hurts; but as for a present outlook on one's life, I believe that one hour of immersion in the miraculous presence of the Holy Spirit can work more wonders than an entire year in therapy.
Second, the question of our natural desires as being counter to putting others first. There is a basic theological idea here, and that is that we are all steeped in sin. None of us can escape it; sin is the burden of humanity. 1 John 1:8 says, "If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us."
Now, even though John goes on to say that Christ is "faithful and just" to clean us of our sin if we will repent, this is not a once-and-for-all occurrence. We inevitably struggle with more sin, day by day, and that's why continual confession is a critical thing we must do -- like taking a shower on a regular basis.
The apostle Paul wrote a lot about the ongoing war against our own sin. In Romans 7:15 and following in The Message translation, he states: "What I don't understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise.... I realize that I don't have what it takes. I can will it, but I can't do it. I decide to do good, but I don't really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don't result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time."
This is a man who many consider second only to Jesus in influencing Christianity. He wrote much of the New Testament and had a firm grasp on what it meant to follow Christ. Yet he was plagued by sin. Was that because he was in worse shape than any of us? No; arguably the opposite. He was simply stating the common denominator of us all: we battle sin daily.
If sin could be considered doing things to please myself in spite of God's commands, then serving myself instead of others would certainly fall into that category. This would explain why it can be so damned difficult to put others first: the whiny sinful Paul inside me doesn't like not being king of the universe.
(Tangent alert:) This is why I think janitors, garbagemen, and restaurant servers have some of the most noble positions. Think about it. Their days are spent serving and cleaning up after others. Sure, they probably do it only as a last resort for a paycheck. But the very fact that those positions are considered a "last resort" position for most people just proves my point. We don't like to serve.
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